Who Do the Doo-Doo Belong To?

I have proposed that Monona amend its ordinances to allow dogs in city parks if on a leash. Seems like a modest enough proposal, possibly even reasonable. But others say, "Ah-ha! What if reckless dog owners allow their dog to do more than just take a walk in the park? What if they let Fido take a dump in the park? And what if these owners then exit the park leaving said doo-doo behind, so to speak?"

Well, letting your dog do his bidness in a public park and not cleaning up violates city ordinances now and would still violate the ordinances. I'm just proposing to allow leashed dogs in the parks. I'm not proposing to allow owners to leave their dogs poo in the park.

"Ah, yes, but if you let people walk their dogs in the park, scofflaws will flock to the parks en masse to deposit mass quantities of sh*t!"

Capitalism and government regulation to the rescue! Require DNA testing of a dog's poop as a condition of getting a license! (Feel free to smack your forehead at this point.). Dog poop found in the parks could be tested and if it's your dog's doo, buddy, you are gonna pay!

Yes, believe it or not, DNA testing of dog poop is a growing industry. As a lawyer, my mouth waters at the thought of a new source of litigation. Just think of the chain of custody issues alone!

***

For the humor-impaired, I am not proposing forensic analysis of dog poopas a condition of getting a (dog license.)

Outsmarted by a Dog

Sullivan, our English Springer Spaniel, has a problem. As is often the case when a dog has a problem that means his keepers have a problem of which the dog is blissfuly unaware.

Sullivan or Sully (the only one of his nicknames that is printable) has an obsession with a green rubber ball. Morning, noon, and night, indoors and out, he wants to chase the ball. He often brings it back right away.

Sully

We put him in a twelve step program, but he outsmarted us. He admitted he was powerless to control his obsession with the green ball, but he didn't really seem to care. Nonetheless, he agreed to turn over his affairs to a Higher Power. Then he chose the green ball as his higher power. Drats!

The Nemesis

The Ball is Lost

Still lost

Boxer the Pug Expresses Concern

Ball is Found

Waiting

Indoors

Doesn't taste too good.

The Pug Head Tilt

The Pug Head Tilt

CLICK this link.

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Public Safety Commission Report

At its August 2009 meeting the Monona Public Safety Commission:

Rejected a proposal to prohibit parking in the 6200 block of Bridge Road. Several neighbors appeared in opposition. The resident who owns the tow truck that is sometimes parked along that stretch announced that he is retiring and selling the truck. Item 5b Traffic and 5c Bridge Parking.pdf

Expressed interest in adopting something like the Middleton and Madison Neighborhood Traffic Management Plans (NTMP). I offered to draft a plan based on those plans for the committee's consideration. The complete Middleton Neighborhood Traffic Management Program. Here is a summary of the Middleton plan: Neighborhood Traffic Management Program.

Here is a link to the Madison Traffic Management program.

Recommended approval of a Monona Police Department K-9 Policy (Updated K-9 Policy 8-24-09.pdf) - and implicitly the establishment of a canine unit provided adequate private funds are raised. My concerns focused on a couple main points: How would the dog be used and in particular would it be routinely used in traffic stops. Other committee members shared my concern that a dog sniff not become part of every run-of-the-mill traffic stop. We were assured by the PD that the dog would not be used that way.

Under a Wisconsin Supreme Court case, during a valid vehicle stop and without any probable cause or even reasonable suspicion, the canine may be used to sniff the vehicle's exterior in an exploratory manner so long as sniff does not take longer than necessary to conclude the business associated with the initial stop. (See, State v. Arias, No. 2006AP000974. See also State v. Lord, No. 2007AP001858, a Court of Appeals case that somewhat narrowly interprets Arias. Be cautious about how much cologne you splash on - apparently police consider it to be suspicious: "[Officer]Smith noticed a heavy odor of air freshener and cologne emanating from the vehicle, which he suspected was masking the smell of drugs.").

My other concern is how much time the ongoing training of the dog and handler would require. It appears it could take as much as 10% or more of the handler's time to keep both trained up. (The handler will be a Monona patrol officer).

Recommended participation in a Wisconsin Bureau of Transportation Safety
Speed Enforcement 2010 Traffic Grant. Some members of the committee, in particular Alder Veserat expressed concerns about taking the money and questioned how it would be used.
Item 6b WIBOTS Grant.pdf

Photos Posted

I posted numerous photos from the Woodland Park prescribed burn, Winneqauh Park, Stonebridge Park, and Winnequah Road over on my photo blog.

http://mononapark.blogspot.com/

I did not post this photo of a driving dog (seen at Staples parking lot on the same day).

Woof

The Monona Public Safety Commission considered a proposal to establish a K-9 Unit within the Monona Police Department at its February 23, 2009 meeting. No action was taken and the item will be on the committee's March 25 agenda.

K-9 Unit Item 6B.pdf

Excerpt from the minutes:

Discussion of Police K-9 Proposal – Chief Ostrenga had been approached by several members of the department with a proposal to form a K-9 unit. This idea was originally presented to the commission in 2007, at which time the commission was not opposed to the idea, but there were concerns about the necessity of forming such a unit. With the increased liability associated with bringing a strange dog into our jurisdiction, it makes more sense to have our own. The dog chosen for this assignment would be a drug sniffing and search dog, not an aggressive bite-type dog. Discussion included the following: boost in officer morale, insurance liability, mutual aid liability, approval of bargaining unit and the officer flexing his schedule to avoid overtime.

Thoughts? Do we need it? Are the reasons noted in the minutes sufficient?

Link to the Feb. 23, 2009 minutes: http://www.monona.wi.us/vertical/Sites/%7B4EF64B30-DEE6-486B-A007-DF1B9404319B%7D/uploads/%7B0BB06035-B69F-4410-A4F5-B0220F8261E3%7D.PDF

Dog Latin

From an anonymous guest blogger:

It has come to my attention that a local elected official here in BoxTown proposes to allow the keeping of Canis lupus familiaris in an urban setting. This is an outrage!

Now, it is possible that I am mistaken because I often get confused.

I was raised on a farm (inside the farmhouse, dear, not in the barn!) and I know a thing or two about our friend Canis lupus familiaris. Let me tell you - dogs not only poop, but they also eat poop. Now, some may praise this behavior as the ultimate in sustainability, but to me it is simply disgusting.

Having consumed said doo or scat, the dog is likely to share the experience with you by means of planting a wet sloppy lick. Blechh. And they say that dogs don't have germs!

And there's the poop that they don't manage to recycle. What do you propose to do with that? Compost it? Not unless you enjoy hookworms in broccoli. Put in my precious landfill?! Have you lost your mind? Does a dog produce anything? We should fill up our landfill just so you can have an animal to keep you company? Sheesh.

Dogs have also been known to bite once or twice; actually 4.7 million times with 800,000 bites requiring medical attention. ON the other hand, sometimes dogs bite cats, so they do contribute something to society.

Now, most people who want to keep these beasts will no doubt be responsible owners. But, we all know there will be the few irresponsible owners who let their dog bark all night and poop in your yard. Can we possibly risk this intrusion on the good life in BoxTown?

Some dogs have been known to dig, dig, dig, useful if you needed a tunnel to escape East Berlin in the 60's, but otherwise not so much. Other dogs like to jump on people - oops, tipped over the old lady again. Some dogs chase cars (fortunately, few dogs catch cars).

What's that you say? There are 78 million dogs in America? So what?! Are we sheep?! BoxTown can lead the nation to a dog-free society. You want a dog? How dare you intrude on my right not to be bothered by your poop-eating mongrel! You want a dog? Move!

***

As the Harvard marching band says, "Illegitimum non carborundum est".

Stupid Dog!

The saying about not appreciating something until we lose is cliche. Cliche, yes, but true as one of my dogs decided to remind this morning. While removing Christmas decorations from the ice and snow in my front yard I decided to let the Three Amigos out with me - something I very rarely do.

After a few minutes they began to wander around the cul de sac. All was fine until I noticed I could only see Sully, our English Springer Spaniel (American Kennel Club - English Springer Spaniel), and at about the same time heard a menacing dog bark followed by a sharp squeal. Then silence.

I quickly put Sully inside and called for Pumba, the dog-in-charge, and our pug, Boxer (American Kennel Club - Pug). More silence. Continuing silence. No barking, no jingling dog tags, nothing. Bad images flash through the brain. Feeling a frisson of panic, I began a quick search. A moment later Pumba came lumbering up the driveway, but no Boxer in tow. Those two are usually inseparable, rather like Laurel and Hardy (Laurel and Hardy - The Official Website). Fighting down full fledged panic, I strode up the street loudly calling his name.

And around the corner of the Gonzalez' house he comes - peeing on every bush in sight. Home again. The little effer.