Bears: Small, Common, Primitive

Abe Gibron

In depth research by the entire MononaDoug staff has revealed thatUrsus americanus, the black bear, is the smallest and most common bear in America. The species is also considered to be primitive. That’s the Bears for you, small, ordinary, and primitive.

Jay Cutler doing game prep with TE Greg Olsen.

Not sure what Lovie is up to.

Yes, Virginia, Da Bears Still Suck

I received an important question in the randomizer post, to wit, do da Bears still suck?


I'm glad you asked that question because some people are confused by the Bears modest success. The basis of the Bears suckitude is not solely on-the-field performance, but rather goes to the essence of what it means to be a Bears player or, much worse, a Bears fan (After all, most players move on to other teams, but Bears fans are stuck.).

You won't find any references to Packers as hilariously disgusting as this one about the Bears: that blows dead bears: "when something sucks so far beyond normal. after all, what could suck worse than blowing a dead bear? Not much. Used in Western Canada and parts of Ontario."

This phenonmenon is also explained here: After Further Review, The Bears Still Suck! Or at least you can buy a T-shirt and watch a great video from the 1989 Majik Man game.

Try this YouTube: Da Bears Still Suck.

You also don't have to worry about someone asking this question about the Packers:

"Does bears suck their thumbs when they wintersleep?"

And as proven by this photo, the Bears have sucked for a very long time.

Nothing says 'class' like 'Brian Urlacher'.

And finally, this one is cover-your-eyes awful:

From http://ianmcgibboney.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html