Friday, July 29, 2011

Suggestion Box

So until Mayor Miller returns to town, to quote Al Haig, "I am in charge" (except I actually have legal powers that Haig merely claimed).

Any suggestions on how I should abuse, err, exercise my vast authority? Be quick, times awastin'!


  1. Can you issue pardons? If you can, I'll have a few suggestions at about 2:00 am!

  2. 1. Please declare the route from N. Winnequah Rd to Midmoor to Owen to S. Winnequah a "bike boulevard" like they have on the groovy east side on such streets as E. Dayton and E. Wilson. Cars are allowed, but they must yield to bikes. You can ride two or three abreast with your little kids and the cars have to follow you, so cars avoid these streets. This will solve the problem of traffic and speeding on the infamous south Winnequah Rd. The cars will simply use Monona Drive or Bridge Rd. to get out the beltline, avoiding Winnequah altogether. Not only will this stop the incessant harping about south Winnequah but it will attract more young families with kids. Plus, we'll seem more groovy which is never a bad thing.
    2. Speaking of upping our groovy factor, legalize marijuana. We'll become a tourist mecca for laid back, easy going people. Think of the revenue for our fair city! We can have tons of little inns, like the "Wake and Bake House." Everyone will be driving really slooooow, so there's a benefit too!

  3. I can issue pardons, but not at 2 a.m.

  4. Bike Boulevard? Consider it done. Let the harping about N. Winnequah Road begin!

    Wait, marijuana isn't legal?

  5. So, how did you abuse your power last night at the council meeting?

  6. "So, how did you abuse your power last night at the council meeting?"

    I got alder Wiswell to correctly pronounce alder Speight's last name (like Spate not Speith).

    And I declared a state of emergency and instituted the "one man, one vote" form of government. In this instance, however, I am the only man who gets a vote.