Tuesday, March 31, 2009
New Policy Proposal Tomorrow
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Monona
Watch this space for a major new Monona policy proposal tomorrow. Couldn't quite get it finished for today.
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ReplyDeleteHP
Well, I have also given much thought to the need for some real CHANGE in Monona, and I want to make a Modest Proposal.
ReplyDeleteI think the time has come to make all of our streets pedestrian-only. This will certainly make our streets safer, and save the tax-payers gobs of money, while enabling the restoration of natural landscapes.
The elimination of vehicular traffic will radically reduce wear and tear on our roads, and eliminate the need for timely snow removal. In fact, we can eliminate the Public Works Department, and cancel that snow plow we just ordered.
Any vehicles owned by citizens can be parked at the city limits, and special permits will be required. The new Office of Vehicle Licensing and Bureaucracy will be created at city hall, which will create new work (not to be confused with real jobs, which only the private sector can create)
A special tax will be levied on antique cars. No reason. If you have money to waste on antique cars, you owe it to the community to pay this special fee. Antique convertibles are taxed at 300% of their value.
Given the lack of accidents on residential streets, some have asked the question, "do we really need streets?" Good question. This proposal envisions a slow removal of streets over the next decade, to return all of Monona to green space.
In the meantime, trees will be planted in each intersection to replace a few of the trees that were removed so many years ago, when streets were installed. This will calm bikers and walkers at intersections, while providing timely shade.
Those unable to walk will be dependent on the kindness of strangers. If you want welfare, move the Madison.
You may think this proposal is crazy, but the mayor of Bologna, Italy enacted similar policies in downtown Bologna almost 25 years ago, and when I visited about 22 years ago, it was working great. No joke.
Of course, if Monona were to enact such a law, then people might confuse Monona with Bologna, or is that Baloney?
Does Alder Speight propose sodding the streets? As in 'Sod that'!
ReplyDeleteI like the Monona mantra 'if you want welfare, move to Madison'! That hymn has been sung too softly in the 'Grove'.
Get in the Groove, move to the Grove! Now that's a 'brand'!