Bail Out the Brewers!

The world witnessed an historic collapse this week, but unlike the collapse of the financial markets, the federal government failed to ride to the rescue of the Milwaukee Brewers . The result? The Brewers continued their slide right out of the NL playoffs.

It is not too late - hey 'W' understands baseball better than economics - a federal bailout could prohibit the Brewers' destructive and ruinous losses. Nationalize 'em! What better way to win the National League pennant, eh? With President Bush taking over the managerial reins, victory would be achieved by diktat ('Voices Of Negativism' - New York Times). If the law is whatever Bush says it is, then surely he can similarly rig the rules of baseball and simply declare Brewer victory. Yoo-hoo! We win!

On a lighter note, if you wonder just how bad the financial market was take a gander at this Wall Street Journal story: Shock Forced Paulson's Hand and consider that less than two weeks ago, the US government effectively nationalized Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (In Rescue to Stabilize Lending, U.S. Takes Over Mortgage Finance Titans) and this week they have extended government insurance to money market accounts to stanch a run of these funds when one or more of them 'broke the buck'. (Should this have been a shock to regulators? The International Herald Tribune was reporting problems in the fund in July: Rethinking money market funds - International Herald Tribune).

Propping up money market funds was just for starters. The Federal Reserve Board also effectively bought American International Group with an $85 billion 'loan' that makes the government owner of 80% of its shares. The NYT story was headlined 'Fed’s $85 Billion Loan Rescues Insurer', but the action was meant to stave off a potential chain reaction. (NYT stories may require free registration)

The federal government also banned short-selling of 799 financial stocks (Markets Soar, but New Rules Upset Traders). Yoinks! There are 800 financial stocks?

Anything else? Well, yes, the administration is asking Congress to approve $700 billion for the US Treasury to buy distressed "mortgage-related assets". And get that done by next week, OK?

The proposal is remarkable for its sweep and brevity. Read it here: Read the Treasury proposal to Congress. NYT story: $700 Billion Is Sought for Wall Street in Vast Bailout Of course there will be details, whether imposed by Congress or worked out by Treasury and the devil will be found there - along with lurking lobbyists.

But c'mon, $700 billion for mortgage-related assets and nuttin' for the Brewers? As my smarty pants brother pointed out, the difference between the Brewers collapse and the financial collapse: Congress didn't give a sh*t if the Brewers collapsed.

Drat.